nichole, nichole, nichole

Now she is saying she is uncertain whether she was raped or not.

she is having doubts whether she provoked the sex or not.

whether it was forced or she wanted it too.

nichole, nichole, nichole

i find this very weird indeed.

you’re uncertainty i would understand if we are talking about a pair of shoes you have purchased, or whether a vacation you took was worth the expenses and effort, or even if you made the right decision in accepting or rejecting wedding proposal.

but rape?

how can you not be sure about rape?

about force?

about sex?

how can you not be certain in that long walk from the bar to the car?

from the entire drive around subic?

from the moment his hand is grasping your legs, to the point he is aiming his hard penis in your vagina, and to that instance that his dick touches your body and pierced your being.

how can you not be sure throughout all that?

was there violence? you were raped.

were you physically forced to do it? you were raped.

were you persuaded even if you already said no? you were raped.

were you pressured just because you feel you have to for whatever reason? you were raped.

but if you willingly and intentionally went with Smith, dragged him to the car, unzipped his pants, and guided his dick into your orifice then you were not raped.

its that simple.

so nichole, how can you not be sure?

really.

si manilyn at ang pagtatapos ng new decade

(no cultural analysis here. just a cultural icon)

aaminin ko. biased ako. isa akong taga hanga ni manilyn reynes. ang star of the new decade.

naaalala ko pa nung kasikatan niya at may sarili pa siyang show.

ang mga kantang pinasikat niya.

ang mga pelikulang pinagbidahan niya.

napaka wholesome at masa kasi ang aura niya.

akala ko noon buong buhay ko siyang makikita sa tv na kumakanta ng mga songs tulad ng ‘feel na feel ko’

at mapapanood sa sine na tumitili o sumasayaw sa required dance number ng mga pelikula noon

hindi pala

may katapusan din pala ang new generation

maaring naumay ang mga tao sa kawalan ng pagbabago kay manilyn

buong generation lang kasi sya nag patweetums

isangVilma Santos na di nabigyan ng burlesk queen

isang Sharon Cuneta na di nagawa ang Madrasta

isang Judy Ann Santos na di nagkaroon ng Ryan Agoncillo

si Manilyn, tulad ni Jolina ay di nagbago

at yan marahil ang tumapos sa new decade

pero ito ang sasaibihin ko

mane,

kahit ano mangyari

kahit ilang beses mo kantahin ang ‘sayang na sayang’

hindi ako bibitaw

hinding hindi matatapos ang new decade sa buhay ko.

umalohokans

admit it. we all are gossipers. we like to gather in one corner of the room and tell tales (or for some, spin tales) about other people. unraveling their misfortunes, exposing their mistakes, marvelling at their misfortunes.

we would gather in coffee shops, living rooms, or even beside the office water dispenser to unwrap our little presents of information. just like Jesus distributing fishes he had multiplied, we too distribute tidbits of gossips to feed the hunger of our fellow gossippers. information that has been multiplied, altered, enhanced to suit the demanding taste of our followers.

no topic is considered taboo. all is fair game. from the trivial fashion missteps and social boo boos, to the more juicy life altering occurrences such as who’s cheating, who’s breaking up, or who’s going to get horizontally bigger in a span of 9 months.

the person of the day also varies. sometimes its a celebrity or someone famous. but most of the time its an acquaintance or a so-called ‘friend’. it is of course obvious who the topic of conversation is depending on the volume and tone of voice. a loud voice signifies that a celebrity is in discussion. there is an authoritarian tone of knowing something and a sort of pride of knowing it before others. but if the voice gets low and almost inaudible then the topic has shifted to someone they personally know. here, the tone is not anymore authoritative but more conspirational. coupled with enlarged eyeballs and controlled lip movements, the gossiper would seem like a messiah distributing the much valued mannah from heaven.

but why do we gossip?

at its most basic level, we gossip (passing of information) because it helps in the information process. in pre-hispanic times, tribes would have umalohokans or people who announce uhm anything of importance. and people will then pass it on and thus increase the speed of passing vital information.

for anthropologists, gossip fulfills another function: developing language and communication. according to some theorists (they never got famous so i have no idea who they are), back when humans are still apes (e.g. hairy) coming together in groups to groom each other is common. this is a form of social bonding. however with the development of language humans found that sharing stories is an easier of bonding together than looking for parasites on each other’s heads.

but why are gossips mostly negatives stories about people?

well some social scientists (again fame was elusive) claim that gossip functions as an enforcer of social norms. those who have violated these norms would be subjected to the shameful experience of having fellow group members talking about his/her actions in his/her back.

also, gossip serves as a way of reciprocating someone’s good deeds (a rare occurence) or transgressions (a warning to fellow members).

any which way, gossip has a purpose and because of this here are a couple of blind items to wet one’s appetite for this wonderful social invention:

1.) May Ganu’n?
By: Ogie Diaz

BLIND item: Napa-“Ha? Ano, totoo ’yan?” kami nu’ng marinig namin mula sa isang reliable friend ang tsikang ang isang young actor na winner sa isang contest ay nagpahada sa isang bading last week lang.

Ang nakakalokah nito (tsismosung-tsismoso ang dating, huh!), hulaan n’yo kung sino ang kanyang bugaw?

Sino? (Naku, ako na rin daw ang nagtanong, o!)

Hindi bading, hindi rin girl. Lalaki. At ito’y kasama pa mandin ng young actor sa contest na sinalihan, kaso, lost ang byuti nito at wagi naman ang young actor.

Magkano ang usapan?

Well, nahada ng isang mayamang bading ang bagets actor sa halagang… dyandyararan…. beinte mil! As in, twenty kiyaw!

Uy, sabi nga ng iba, hindi na masama. Siyempre, gusto naming isiping sobrang nangangailangan ang bagets, kaya kumapit na sa patalim, bayan ko.

Clue? Ang initials ng bagets actor na ito, kapag pinagdikit mo ay parang gusto mong makinig sa kanya at sasabihin mong, “Ha? Ha? Ha? Totoo nga?”

2.) Journal Group
By: Leo M. Bukas

HUWAG na kayong magtaka kung bakit wala na ang ginagamit na sasakyan ng guwapong aktor na dating boyfriend ng isang gay singer.

Hinatak ang sasakyan ng kumpanyang pinagkakautangan nito, dahil eight months nang hindi nababayaran.

Ang sasakyan ng guwapong aktor ay hindi galing sa gay singer. Bigay ito ng isa pang bading na karelasyon din ng aktor.

Sabi ng gay singer: “Naku, karma lang ’yan, kasi ipinagpalit niya ako sa iba. ’Yan tuloy, wala na siyang car ngayon. Buti nga sa kanya!”

courtship and women

im not a courtship type of person. i dont court. not because i dont know how to but i just dont believe that i have to. in fact, i havent tried courting in my life. i prefer to start everything with friendship when all defenses are down and the view is clear and real.

but then courtship is big in our culture. im not certain if courtship is already practiced during the pre-hispanic era but it has become part of the philippine culture during the colonial stage of our history. this is interesting because it is also during this time that the female sex has been fully differentiated from its male counterpart. certain records claim that women enjoy almost the same level of power in society during the pre-hispanic era but this has completely changed when spain conquered the country.

during the spanish colonization and long afterwards, a 2-fold view of women was established. the virgin mary and the mary magdalene. we have the virginal woman who is pure, soft-spoken, and mild in manners. and there is the mary magdalene who is rebellious, wild, liberated, and sexually promiscuous.

obviously, it is the virgin that has been the focus of courtship. they were the ones who were given flowers, serenaded, and visited every night at their houses. all these effort just to obtain the virgin’s love, the virgin’s hand for marriage, and the virgin’s virginity.

the magdalene on the other hand is not courted. they were paid. they were given money or favors so that men could obtain and experience their sexuality. of course, relatively inexperienced magdalenes (sariwa pa) fetch a higher price than those who are already past their prime (laspag na). so that virginity or the freshness thereof still plays a factor in determining the monetary value of the magdalenes.

at first glance, it seems these two types of women are perceived and treated differently by society. but this is not really the case. whether a woman is a virgin or a magdalene, both are still perceived as a commodity that can obtained. though the means are different (courtship for the virgin, money for the magdalene) they are still ‘acquired’ by men and thereafter treated as possesions whose main aim is to please the possesor.

obviously, courting a woman is more difficult than paying for one. thus, no one in their right mind would really court a magdalene since the scarce resource (in this case, the women’s virginity) is no longer present in them.  but men are willing to exert effort in courting a virgin so as to be given the chance to conquer and own a woman who has not been ‘owned’ yet by other men.

courtship is a practice aimed to acquire a woman. sometimes it is a competition. sometimes it is not. but all the time it places a value on the woman. it turns them into a commodity much like a magdalene is. men window shops in bars, parties, malls, picks one they like and attempts to obtain the goods that have caught their eyes. they may not necessarily pay for the woman but still they buy them through flowers, chocolates, dates, with the aim of bringing them home, unwrapping them, and using them at their own pleasure.